I was staring at this bright lipstick at Priceline called ‘VIP’ and then a thought came into my head, “What are people going to think?”
I really loved the colour, I tried it on and it just really felt like the real me. Sadly, in order to make it to the counter with it, I had to battle a few negative thoughts in my head.
It was right then that I had a life transforming revelation. Don’t be afraid to be ME. Be bold. Who cares what people think!?
This lead me to a journey that I started because of the inspiration of a Loreal VIP lipstick!
Finding your V.I.P. (Value, Identity, Purpose)
I believe the following are such crucial questions in every single human mind at least once in their lifetime:
What is my Self-Worth?
Who am I?
What is my Purpose?
Either consciously, or subconsciously we ask ourselves these questions every day and our actions and behaviours demonstrate the corresponding set of beliefs.
I am still on that journey, I don’t have all the answers yet but I’m a lot closer than I was that day at the shop. I just felt to write this to encourage someone today.
We live in an almost non-human world. We are expected to be like robots and zombies at work and in society. Consumerism consumes well meaning people to the point of family breakdown, mental issues (including anxiety, depression etc) and total un-satisfaction and feeling of purposelessness and hopelessness. Don’t even get me started on media and the images of superstars and models who are severely photoshopped and are so unreal and send the most damaging messages to the world!
What is the problem?
Everything we see, watch, read, hear. We feel like unless we look like that, or have those things, we are not as valuable as others. Marketing is probably one of the most un-noble industry subtly exploiting our desperate desires in exchange for monetary gain. It is based on psychology and trends. Give them what people want and need. It is our passion as a family to spread the message in our motto, ‘Enjoy the simple things in life’.
This is very deep I know but let me encourage you with what I’ve discovered so far:
- No-one or nothing gets to determine your true worth You are one decision away from either feeling good about yourself, or feeling down. Yes you heard me correctly. No more playing the victim or blaming others for your bad self-esteem. You and only you can give permission to others for putting you down. I’ve grown up with a lot of bullying in my life and often I have really blamed everyone else for why I was so shy, passive and felt badly about myself. I have discovered that shyness and being gentle or passive actually isn’t a bad thing and it is part of my personality. But the part about me having poor self-esteem had to stop if I wanted to raise healthy, happy boys with self respect and confidence to tackle this mean world. I stopped looking at what I don’t have (image or possessions) and started appreciating my God given blessings. My biggest pet hate is cocky or arrogant people so in an attempt to avoid becoming one of them, I tend to sway in the opposite extreme of being a door mat. The trick was to find that healthy balance in the middle where I have self respect, understand my value and worth is not determined by the world, be confident but still humble. And if you’re a young girl or a grown woman for goodness sake stop looking for love and affection in a man, he does not define you and he will not complete you! Don’t make the mistake of making your life revolve around HIM or HER, there is so much more to life than that…
- Being the best YOU is better than being someone’s 2nd best It is absolutely beyond me why we strive so much to be like someone else (who most likely is also striving to be like someone else!). I like to learn from people and be inspired by them but I have started to find myself again and just try to be the best version of me. Admittedly after having 2 boys, where life is chaotic and it is all about the kids, I have come a bit undone, a bit lost as to who I really am. With a little support and counselling I am finally getting a good balance in life and realise that although my family means everything to me, my identity is not in them or what I do, I am a separate person with a seperate identity. Again, most of my views came from life events which shaped who I thought I need to be in order to be loved and accepted. The reality is, no matter who I tried to be (always died my hair dark as I hated the real me), it always backfired because I didn’t allow people to love me for the real me. My personality and image need to reflect who I really am in my core in order to have any meaningful and intimate relationships. Practically, I returned to my natural hair colour as much as I used to despise it, probably because I would get teased for it, called a blond barbie doll etc. There is no better feeling than being free to be yourself. I am also not apologising for my personality although always looking to grow and improve as a person. I can’t even begin to describe the freedom I have felt in this area of my life.
- You have a God-given purpose in life I am so inspired by the different human beings I get to meet and read about. People are absolutely beautiful and they have amazing gifts and talents. They also have a big purpose in life, should they accept the challenge. I believe that where passion and gifting meet, there is your calling. Very few find it. I was on a journey discovering what I was good at and what my passion was. I tried to make others’ passions and giftings my own and it just didn’t work, causing dread and exhaustion. It is easy to get sucked into a certain trend and follow along with what others are doing. It’s not until you find your unique gift and passion, whether it’s popular or not that you find true fulfilment. One of my goals this year was to find a hobby. Something that I will truly enjoy which will recharge me and distract me from the monotony of life. I was a former CPA Accountant and was quite career driven before I had my boys. I have been at home now for 4 years so it was starting to take a toll on me! I absolutely love being a stay at home mum but we too need a good balanced life. I also suffered post natal depression quite badly so I learned the hard way that I need balance and need to get out the house. I have ditched my accounting career for something so much more enjoyable… Photography. I never knew I had an interest in it until I tried it. I have done it for a few years as part of our family travel blog and finally got the guts to try it out as a form of making a living. I am at a point in my life where I feel like I’m too old to be scared anymore. And I really need to face my fears once and for all. The fear of people. My purpose in the photography is to be able to inspire the world with beautiful stories in the images. There is so much negativity and doom and gloom everywhere and I am on a mission to prove that beauty and love is still all around us. I too get very inspired and I love meeting people and encouraging them whenever I can.
I will leave you with this quote:
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” – Howard Thurman